Technically Brunette

Recently there has been allot of who-ha about this second life thing which is basically like an on-line version of Sims where you actually spend your own money and do various things to create on on-line life like you wish you really had.

Well i thought i’d try and see what all the fuss was about, so i created an account. After typing in a shit load of info in various pages and then clicking join i haven’t received an email notification of my joining and i am also unable to sign in…. hmmmm

So my over all rating… this really doesn’t even deserve a donkey fart.

Letter ONE:

Dear Pedestrians;

You continually whine and complain about the lack of “Path Edict” shone by Sydney cyclers. If i had a penny for the number of times i have either heard or read about a pedestrian (be they a runner or walker) who is having a bitch about bike riders not ringing their bell, or indicating verbally that they are about to pass or even the complaints about riders hooning past pedestrians and almost “causing” a collision i would be able to afford a car.

Granted there are the occasional hoons on bikes however i would hate to tell you that this is the case in every “group” including pedestrians. The fact is that if you all took enough notice of the world around you when you walked you would see that at-least 90% of all cyclists do in-fact ring their bell or yell out verbally however your IPod is either stuck way to far in your ears or the volume of your beaty dance mix is turned up way to high and you are unable to hear. If you feel that either of these could be the case please either TURN THE F&%KING THING DOWN or GET RID OF IT. In regards to those complaining about almost being bolled over by cyclists please take the above advice regarding your IPod bat to you i will also despence this advice…. When there is both a bike only and a pedestrian only section and you feel that you have every right to park your ass in the middle of the bike only section (as a pedestrian) with your Ipod so loud that you cant hear me telling you I’m coming then you deserve to be decked and you are lucking as all hell that it was a near miss!!!

So in future please remember that if you had one of those fashionable ear drum blowers while the “incident in question” occurred SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!!

Yours thankfully,

Sarah

Letter TWO:

Coming soon

Oh oh oh,

POTATOOOOOOS,

I like me POTATOOOOS,

I like em mashed, i like em hot,

Bit of butter, bit of salt,

I like my potatoooos

oh oh oh

Ok guys due to the failed attempts of Wombat and Stu to make our dear friend Joel an Internet celebrity, via the browser Barron, i decided it was time we tackled another angle.

May i present to you the intro to the new hit FLASH series “Joel on Patrol”:

I was intrigued to read in the SMH today the following headline:

Parents told not to treat children with pet products

This article was written after a child had become ill from an animal flea/tick treatment being used on him to get rid of head lice. Part of me is outraged that this even deserves article status as frankly i think the warning on the label should be enough for all to see and realise that they shouldn’t use these things on humans. However another part of me sides with the parents as given my experience with my sister and head-lice they properly used everything available on the market for human treatment and thought that the animal super strength stuff was the logical next step.

The fact is that head-lice are becoming immune to all these sissy herbal treatments that smell like orange or even the chemical ones which smell like poo (funny thing is that the poo smelling ones do smell nicer then the ones that are meant to smell like orange). I still remember literally skipping the country just to get away from my sisters hair, which even after hourly treatments of well EVERYTHING my parents could find was still teaming with nits (AKA Head lice), in-fact my mother remembers driving her to the chemist, by that time her head was a moving blob of black little things that bite, and once there cleared them out of everything. My mum was literally out of ideas and was about to shave my poor sisters head just to get rid of them.

In conclusion had my mother seen a packet of animal flea/tic product i am positive that she would have taken the risk, as it would have meant she didn’t need to wash the bed sheets 10 times a day and my sister 24 times a day.

It came as a suprise to me when i heard on ABC 702 at 4:04pm this afternoon that all the big media gooru’s have joined together in a meeting today to stand up against the lack of “freedom of speech” in Australia. “Fancy that!” I thought, “media wanting everyone to have a fair say… “. Ho ho ho that delusion didn’t last long as a representative from Fairfax spoke to Richard Glover regarding the stand soon cleared all foggy patches.

Basically all the heads of “reputable” media in Australia got together for a coushie lunch and of course stuffed them selves silly with oysters, lobsters, cucumber sandwiches, fillet stake, truffles, those itty-bitty cakes, Moet & Chandon, Penfolds Grange and perhaps some Hill of Grace. Between gracefully woofing down the provided goodies they some how found time to discuss how unfair it was that the government, major and minor companies and even individuals are extremely protective over privet and confidential information and how there should be some law allowing the media to access this information to of course “benefit the people” rather then produce a good story in this terrible news drought.

I must say that this is a very typical move by the media however i find it rather amusing the way in which they are arguing the matter, using the bloody line:

The people deserve to know the TRUTH…

Of course in this statement TRUTH stands for:

Totaly Ridiculously Unreliable Titty-lying Handful-of-shit

I don’t know how many of you have been into Target recently but if you can help it please don’t! What used to be a great place to go for a bargain in clothes, bedding, toys, cosmetics and home wares has now decided to live up to it’s school yard name of “Targét” and has almost become another Myer.

After going there today i have to say i am in shock, not only is everything neat and spotless (there where no clothes carelessly flung over racks or falling off hangers) but everything was colour coordinated… no joke. However shoppers beware, apart from the occasional bargain ( i got a heap of men’s work shirts for $12-14) the average price of things has not just increased but SKYROCKETED. Where you use to be able to get cheep women’s shoes and clothing for around $10 a pop the average price for a top is now $50. How on earth do they rationalise this? The fact is that target changed it’s image (and prices) when they caught on that shopping at target was the ‘COOL’ thing to do in high-school, i mean they even get some woopty-doo fashion designer to do a line for them, which might i add they are charging Boutique prices for. The fact is that they have totally missed the point. Target was cool because it was so cheep and junkie, kids could afford stuff there and they had stuff kids like none of this fancy-nancy stuff they have now. So until the real target returns i encourage every one to support Kool-Mart (Aka: K-Mart) and not this middle Australia crap.

I just thought i’d inform everyone that there is a little mouse (or maybe two) who are stocking up for the winter to come with MY FOOD. Now we have known that mice can get in (along with the draft) through this massive gap under our front door for a little while now, we even came home from a weekend away to find this cute yet rather fat mouse stuck in our puppy’s food bag. Clearly we did as any one would in this situation and ensured that all benches where kept clean, washing up was done and open food was put away in containers, cupboards, fridge etc. We decided against using traps as i just know i’ll be woken up on night by a loud “SNAP” when my innocent little puppy is trying to get a mid-night snack, definitely not a nice thought at all.

So as it happened keeping the kitchen clean worked a treat (well until my 21st but that’s another blog), the mice started to learn that there was no food and i soon learnt that if i need to leave something out on the bench i need to put it in a container. So what’s the problem?

The problem is that i made a very bad miss-judgement, see i assumed that if an item of food hadn’t already been opened (IE it was still sealed) then it would be quite safe to leave out… WRRRROOOOONNNNGGG

Now i would have no issues if this little fluff-ball decided to eat my bread, nuts, coffee beans or even my jelly lollies i’d just deal with it. However there is one thing that i will not tolerate, just one, and that’s him touching my chocolate! Who would of thought that a mouse would have such a sweet tooth, to burrow through my 400g Cadbery Dairy Milk Chocolate. Not I. But that litte basted did it, my poor chocolate.

So here’s a warning to all mice out there I’m not happy and I’m not afraid to stomp you flat.

OH MY GOD!!! Is it just me or is reality TV really been Over Over Over ….. Over Done!!! I mean honestly if they come up with another lock-em in and watch them series or even a become a super model or super star series my head will honestly implode.

Why cant they at-least come up with something slightly more interesting, it cant be that hard. They could just paint a wall and film watching it dry. How about they try something a little more risque, like a surprise coo, where a coo is held and conveniently televised and just as a mass “execution”of all the pollies is about top happen the executioner pulls a cord and instead of releasing the guillotine it releases balloons and streamers and everyone yells surprise.

Twisted yes but also interesting…

Well last night was the event of the century, that’s right it was my 21st. It was much more sedate then i had imagined in-fact due to an evil dose of the lurgy i had a grand total of 3 sips of beer!!! It was really funny actually i had gone to the chemist earlier that evening specifically asking for something that had no Sudoethadrene in it so i could drink, to which they gave me some non drowsy antihistamines. It wasn’t till about 11 that i woke up to the fact that i felt so crook that i wasn’t actually drinking anyway meaning i should have got the good stuff so i could enjoy my night. So off i went in search of a late night chemist and some drugs which would bring me relief, luckily Canterbury chemist was open till 1am, so sure enough i went and got my fix and headed back to the party.

I must say i felt so much better but it was funny to be so sober as you really notice when people have drunk too much and what effects alcohol have on different people, it was really quite interesting.

In summery i did have a great night and i’d like to thank all that came. I would also like to send a whopping big thank you to MRS Philbo for cooking me the most Fab cake ever (see below) and darling Stu for a very Stu, yet surprisingly romantic speech.

xxx

TELP